Ever Seen a Pregnant Woman on
Crutches??
WARNING: Long sob story, with
some excess of wallowing... :)
So yesterday, I walked (obviously excessively powerfully) by my couch, and stubbed my toe. I collapsed on the couch in pain, and after it really sunk in (the full strength of pain was a tiny bit delayed), I realised it was really bad - like, worse than any other stubbed toe pain I'd had. I looked at my little toe, and was nearly sick - it was sticking out at a disgusting angle, away from my foot! Ew!!!
Fortunately I had my phone in my hand, so I called James (in hysterics, a little bit) and I do not remember the exact wording, but the fact that he was in the driveway and bounding up the stairs maybe 30 seconds later... might give some indication that I was fairly urgent (and possibly a little demanding) about it. As I was hanging up from James, Mum was calling (she's got that intuition thing down). I blubbered that I'd broken or dislocated my toe, and she offered to come over to look after the girls. I hysterically yelled "Can you be here in 2 MINUTES?!" and she calmly said "No, but I'll be there in 15" (which is about how long it takes to get here). She also mentioned that if it were dislocated, James could probably just 'pop it back in', to which I may have screamed something about real doctors and painkillers, and "NO!!!".
.......
When we got to the hospital, he parked where you're not supposed to (not afraid to defy parking rules in light of a wife's sore toe - my hero ;)) and carried me into emergency. I was painfully embarrassed but I wasn't having a great deal of success with my attempted at hopping again :p When we finally got in for the x-ray (they covered baby boy in my belly with 2 of the iron aprons and assured me it was 100% safe before asking if I was sure I wanted to proceed since I was pregnant lol) and then into the plaster room (after a wait long enough to allow me to imagine the awful pain of re-setting my almost certainly dislocated toe many times over and enough to make me shake all over), the doctor said "You've actually broken your toe". Oh. Did that mean they didn't need to re-set it?? Of course they did - it had snapped right through at a funny angle and was sticking out - they needed to put it back in place to heal properly :( After warning me that they would hurt a LOT, she then gave me 2 giant, painful, horrible awful needles, right into the bone, on either side of my little pinky toe. The doctor was right. It hurt, a LOT. I cried out and sobbed into James! I was so embarrassed, but I couldn't help it! And James even seemed to think it was justified, because they were huge, and the doctor seemed to think they were going to half kill me with the pain, and can I use the 'pregnant' thing?? Anyway, thank goodness she'd let me bring him in! :) And then the anaesthetic (okay, there was a GREAT reason to put me through those needles, shudder) set in, and she fiddled with putting my toe back into place while I was mercifully without feeling in my foot. Hooray for anaesthetic!!! :) I was soooo grateful not to feel it, I can't even tell you! It was like when I got the epidural when I was in labour with Maggie, and suddenly the world was a happy place again :)
So they strapped said snapped little toe next to it's closest relative, and gave me a lovely set of crutches, to use for the next 6 weeks (that's right - until I'm 35 weeks pregnant! - 1 week before Christmas!), or until the pain goes away and I can walk again.
So yesterday, I walked (obviously excessively powerfully) by my couch, and stubbed my toe. I collapsed on the couch in pain, and after it really sunk in (the full strength of pain was a tiny bit delayed), I realised it was really bad - like, worse than any other stubbed toe pain I'd had. I looked at my little toe, and was nearly sick - it was sticking out at a disgusting angle, away from my foot! Ew!!!
Fortunately I had my phone in my hand, so I called James (in hysterics, a little bit) and I do not remember the exact wording, but the fact that he was in the driveway and bounding up the stairs maybe 30 seconds later... might give some indication that I was fairly urgent (and possibly a little demanding) about it. As I was hanging up from James, Mum was calling (she's got that intuition thing down). I blubbered that I'd broken or dislocated my toe, and she offered to come over to look after the girls. I hysterically yelled "Can you be here in 2 MINUTES?!" and she calmly said "No, but I'll be there in 15" (which is about how long it takes to get here). She also mentioned that if it were dislocated, James could probably just 'pop it back in', to which I may have screamed something about real doctors and painkillers, and "NO!!!".
.......
When we got to the hospital, he parked where you're not supposed to (not afraid to defy parking rules in light of a wife's sore toe - my hero ;)) and carried me into emergency. I was painfully embarrassed but I wasn't having a great deal of success with my attempted at hopping again :p When we finally got in for the x-ray (they covered baby boy in my belly with 2 of the iron aprons and assured me it was 100% safe before asking if I was sure I wanted to proceed since I was pregnant lol) and then into the plaster room (after a wait long enough to allow me to imagine the awful pain of re-setting my almost certainly dislocated toe many times over and enough to make me shake all over), the doctor said "You've actually broken your toe". Oh. Did that mean they didn't need to re-set it?? Of course they did - it had snapped right through at a funny angle and was sticking out - they needed to put it back in place to heal properly :( After warning me that they would hurt a LOT, she then gave me 2 giant, painful, horrible awful needles, right into the bone, on either side of my little pinky toe. The doctor was right. It hurt, a LOT. I cried out and sobbed into James! I was so embarrassed, but I couldn't help it! And James even seemed to think it was justified, because they were huge, and the doctor seemed to think they were going to half kill me with the pain, and can I use the 'pregnant' thing?? Anyway, thank goodness she'd let me bring him in! :) And then the anaesthetic (okay, there was a GREAT reason to put me through those needles, shudder) set in, and she fiddled with putting my toe back into place while I was mercifully without feeling in my foot. Hooray for anaesthetic!!! :) I was soooo grateful not to feel it, I can't even tell you! It was like when I got the epidural when I was in labour with Maggie, and suddenly the world was a happy place again :)
So they strapped said snapped little toe next to it's closest relative, and gave me a lovely set of crutches, to use for the next 6 weeks (that's right - until I'm 35 weeks pregnant! - 1 week before Christmas!), or until the pain goes away and I can walk again.
.......
Oh for the sake of one little toe!!!
{Okay, I just Googled images to find a picture of a broken toe to better illustrate this story for you, but am disgusted by the images that came up, and I think this will suffice..}
I was in a lot of pain, for a long time, and despite everyone assuming so, having given birth twice and anticipating it once more didn't help my toe feel any better in comparison! - Turns out I don't like the pain of childbirth or the pains of broken bones :)
Anyway, yesterday I was walking past the (killer) couch in my living room, when I stubbed that same poor toe. I hopped around holding it and collapsed on the couch, only to realise after a moment that the pain was not going away - it was worsening. And it felt strangely familiar....NOOOOO!!!! I broke it again!!! Is there anyone else out that who's uncoordinated enough to have achieved this TWICE?!!!
I'm really asking you that: Is there??!!! Twice?!?!!
After a few minutes of trying to swallow the pain I timidly looked down at said toe, and thankfully confirmed to myself that it wasn't as bad as last time - no funny angles!! So I didn't go to the doctor, I just hurried James home (thank goodness it happened at the exact moment he was finishing coaching for the afternoon!) and strapped it up, and have been hobbling around in pain since... Today the bruising and swelling have come up, and I can't move it, and did I mention the pain??...
...And I just can't believe I did it, again!!!
So from the very bottom of my heart, here's a piece of advice for you all to keep you out of this sort of trouble. From the very first words spoken by dear James when he hurried home from school yesterday afternoon:
"Sweetie, I think you need to take a wider berth when walking around the couches"
Thank you, dear.
I'm sure my reaction to your story was not what you hoped for. So I won't tell you how long I have been laughing for.... Really? Abby?!?!?! You POOR thing! Perhaps you could put some padding around the said couch leg???
ReplyDeleteBahahaha. Oh Abby you poor thing!!! That SUCKS! I agree with James, leave a little room between the couch and your path. It would just be a tad pathetic if this happened again :S lol
ReplyDeleteOn that note: I broke the same finger 3 times. And also broke three other fingers. All in the space of one netball and basketball season. Thats when mum strapped a paddle pop stick to my thrice broken finger that I wasn't allowed to take off for a week because it was no longer straightening properly! So embarrassing :)
Anyway see you soon and hope the hobbling is going ok!!
In a positive note, at least you're not 35 weeks pregnant this time! :D
Xoxo
Fandangle, that man you married is wise! :) I think Bev's is a great idea too.
ReplyDeleteBut truly Hon, the way that Maggie came in to me today with the sweetest, saddest, most concerned expression in the world on her beautiful little face, all accompanied by, 'Oh Gran, I am SO, SO sorry that you are sick!! - and the very gentle and loving little cuddle she oh so carefully gave me, leads me to think that you are in very good hands! :)
xoxo