Patience and Perfection

We recently discussed a talk on 'Patience" by President Dieter Uchtdof in our Family Home Evening.  Our discussion focussed particularly on the importance of applying patience to the journey we all have as we work our way toward perfection.  We noted that many people are so burdened by feelings of inadequacy and a lack of belief in themselves that it's especially hard to continue on in the face of repeated failures to accomplish perfection.

So I wanted to pass on a thought I've had about our need to be patient with ourselves:

http://www.practicingparents.com

Babies, children, toddlers are wonderful!  They try, and try, and fall or fail, and try again, until they 'get it'.  We know that eventually, they will walk, talk, toilet themselves, say 'Mummy, I love you'; even learn to ride a bike, swim across the pool, and read by themselves.  Eventually, their toes will touch the floor while they are sitting on the pew in church; their fingers will eventually reach the doorknob, the top of the doorway, (and sometimes, in the case of teenage boys straining to be picked for the basketball team), the ceiling.  These things will all, in the normal course of life, always be achieved, just as surely as a 10 kilo snack of chocolate is going to show up on the scales.   

Babies don't ever ponder the possibility of failure.  It just never seems to occur to them!  So they keep trying, until they do advance; achieve; succeed.  And we take their eventual success just as much for granted; we also believe that their destiny is to be successful.  (Except for the universal proviso of young mums who sometimes wonder if their child will ever sleep through, or ever be toilet-trained, or stop wetting the bed.  They will  :)

Little Ballerina's Dream painting by Roberta Martin

To look at a baby or a small child, it could seem incredible that they will be able to accomplish so many intricate, fabulous things one day.  Except that we know what is possible, and probable, because we have already managed it ourselves.  How sad it would be to ever see a baby just give up on trying - to walk, or talk, or feed themselves, knowing as we do know, the progress that would have occurred if they had just continued their efforts.   

I wonder if this is the way that Heavenly Father looks at us.  He sees us fall over, again and again, and I think that His response probably somewhat mirrors our response to our own children: a warm and vitally interested desire to encourage and support, and a feeling of overwhelming love for the child: walking or not; successful or, not just yet.  Perhaps He loves us in the same way that we love our babies, even when they can't do anything much yet!  Perhaps He smiles understandingly, as we occasionally do, when the baby who is learning to sit up, puddles over onto their side, or sometimes falls flat on their face, or even when one throws a tantrum.  Maybe it really doesn't bother Him that much that it takes us a while to learn what we need to - since He knows that eventually, with His help, we will, inevitably, succeed - if we will only choose to disregard all notions of failure.

Pinterest

I remember with a lot of loving humour the picture of our oldest daughter, Tammy, learning to play her first piano piece for the Beginner's exam.  She sat at our piano each day, plonking out the few simple notes, trying over and over again to play the childish tune, before throwing her hands to her eyes and crying, with real anguish one day, "I can't do it, I just can't do it!  I'll NEVER be able to learn this - it's too hard!"   

Fast forward to her seventeenth year, to the exceptionally difficult and lovely music pieces she practised each day then, in preparation for her Diploma of Music exam.   How wonderful it was to hear her filling our home with such intricate and beautiful melodies..

How wonderful to know that our stumbling, occasionally faltering, and even our sometimes emotionally hysterical attempts now to sound a tune, are one day, most certainly, if we 'continue in patience', destined to become performances of great beauty too!

http://academyblog.wordpress.com

Climbing Mountains

I only ever went on one school camp, that I can remember. It was when I was about 15 years old and in year 10. Our grade of about 300 students traveled up from Adelaide to stay in cabin accommodation in the South Australian Flinders Ranges. The highlight of our week was to be a climb to the top of the highest point in the Ranges, St. Mary's Peak.

I was worried leading up to the day we were to make the climb.  I was very skinny back then, and not particularly strong.  I was afraid that I might embarrass myself in front of all the other students by being too weak to make it to the top.  The teachers took us to a hill near our camp on the day before the climb, as a kind of practice.  I remember making it only part of the way up before I sat down, puffing, feeling exhausted, and quite hopeless about my prospects for the next day.

The climb up St. Mary's began with a gentle walk for the first few kilometres.  We were in single file, and I wasn't doing well from the first.  I was about two thirds of the way back in the line of students and teachers, and failing fast.  It didn't look as if I would get very far.  So - I put on a big burst of strength in order to pass all of the people in front of me, until I reached the front of the line.  Eventually, I was one of only nine people to reach the top of the mountain, and was the only girl or woman to get there.

It was good to stand on the peak and spend some moments enjoying the view.  It was wonderful to know that I had achieved the goal, and had not dropped out along the way.  Surprising that so many had. More than that though, I learned a lesson that has helped me out many times since.

ramblingsdc.ne

I have no doubt that had I stayed back in the line, I would have failed to get very far.  By getting out in front of the crowd, the rest of the line seemed to propel me forward, actually bolstering me with the strength I needed to get to the top.  I realize that everyone is different - that perhaps line position would not have been so pivotal in importance to others. But it was for me.  Why?  It just seemed easier when I could see the goal ahead clearly, and did not feel that I was being held back by anyone, or that I had to travel at someone else's pace.  It was easier to be succeeding than it would have been to be failing.

I was reminded of my experience with this some years later, when I read the story of 'The Five Dollar Lawn', as retold by Bishop Vaughn J. Featherstone in Conference, 1973.  If you would like to read it the story is here.

I really love that story!  It seems to echo my own experience, and now my belief, that we have to aim for the highest and the best if we hope to succeed with the best of what we have in ourselves;  that failure comes more often from setting our sights too low rather than from aiming too high.

A good brother in a Sunday School class questioned whether aiming for perfection is just too daunting for some. I think that not aiming for perfection is much more so!  I believe that we are children of God, and that eventual perfection is our true and natural endowment.

To achieve that end, I believe in my heart that we need generally to ask more of ourselves, not less.


(This is a reprint)

Whatever I Want

"What are you going to do?"  my husband occasionally asks.

"Whatever I want," I smile in reply.

As Abby explained in the previous post, we three all decided not to be committed to this Blog in the same way any more for now.

But occasionally I would still like to write something up.  The difference is that I am just - you guessed it - going to write, or not write, 'whatever I want.'  To be fair, that has always been largely the case of course.  But I plan to be perhaps less circumspect in my topic choices and write more freely about..  whatever I want!  I'd be very happy if you can find anything among it all that is of some worth to you.

(I know I could have started a new Blog, but decided against it.)

What to expect?  Books, thoughts, beliefs, ideas.. a variety of topics.

I love your comments too! :)

The Present Box

Do you have a present box in your home?  This is a simple idea, but if you are not already using it you might find it a handy tip to use.

With seven children to buy for at Christmas and birthdays, (and we tend to go overboard a bit with presents - we still have a sack for each of the grown children!), plus all the gifts they have needed to take when they are attending the birthdays of friends, I've found it a real time and money saver to have a box that I keep more or less full of potential gifts, ready to be used at any time.  Mine is a good-sized cardboard box with a lid, (actually, sometimes two or three boxes), that I keep under the bed or in the bottom of my cupboard.

I also don't love shopping that much.. so whenever there are really great sales on, whether online or at my favourite shops, or whenever I visit the big discount centres like DFO or Harbourtown, I shop 'til I drop and come home with bags full of gifts I think I will need in the future.  I'm a bit like a robot as I whisk  through each store, all programmed up with the names and ages of all our family members, with some ideas of what they might like, my head skimming from side to side, alert to any bargains within the radius of my purview...  - or at least that's how I imagine myself, which makes the whole 'I'm out shopping' thing just a lot more exciting I think :)

Mostly though, I'm pretty much always on the lookout whenever I do need to be at the shops.  So for instance: perhaps I happen to pass Prouds' Jewellers while I am on my way to a haircut, and notice that they have a 60% off sale on all their sterling silver.  I go in, reconnoiter, and emerge 15 minutes later with  a lovely bracelet and earrings for Bethy's birthday in two months, some earrings and a necklace for Tammy for Christmas, 3 lovely little bracelets that were a terrific price, that I think our twin boys might be interested in as birthday presents for friends, etc.  And it all goes in to the present box, to join some books ready for various grandchildren, some children's clothes and toys for next Christmas, some of Abby's favourite hair products that were on a great special, etc, etc.  If you do this all year, you will have almost all you need before you even get to Christmas.

Another of the benefits of shopping in advance is that I miss the dreaded Christmas rush, thank goodness!

Do you like this idea?  Are you already doing something simliar?

Why Are Little Girls Going Through Puberty So Early?

Many news stories recently have alerted parents of young girls to the as-yet unexplained rise in the prevalence of early-onset puberty, with a new study showing that 15% of girls are beginning puberty at the age of 7 or 8, or even younger!   This is called 'precocious puberty' and is 10 times as common in girls as in boys.

Did you know that girls in the USA now typically enter puberty at the age of 10 or 11?  Apparently, back in the 1700's it was unusual for girls to menstruate before about the age of 17 or 18.   Obviously, improvements in diet and living conditions have impacted the onset age for puberty over the years, but researchers are searching for additional causes.

All of this means that some girls as young as in grade 3 are having to cope with acne, menstruation, growing breasts, underarm and pubic hair, mood swings, and everything else that comes with all those hormone changes.

Getty images

It's a bit horrifying, isn't it?  Or, at the least, concerning.  It's a lot for a young girl to contend with, and doctors worry that children are unlikely to be emotionally prepared enough for puberty at these young ages, and that these girls demonstrate a greater risk of developing behavioural problems.  Girls with early-onset puberty also tend to have lower self-esteem, and to battle poor body image, and engage in high-risk behaviours, such as those leading to unplanned pregnancy.

Furthermore, early onset puberty appears to have links to an increased risk of developing breast cancer, cardiovascular disease and diabetes.  Other studies indicate that early-onset puberty may stunt the child's growth, causing her to be shorter.

What are the causes of this phenomenon, and are there any commonsense actions you can take as a parent to reduce or avoid these outcomes?

Obesity is likely to be at least partly to blame - so a fresh, healthy, and balanced diet is key.

Environmental factors, such as exposure to estrogens in plastics, chemicals and foods, are also likely culprits.

Although they admit that they do not yet have all the answers, experts do suggest the following:

• Encourage our children to 'eat from the farm, not the factory' - to eat more fruits and vegetables than sweets and fats, which will encourage a healthy weight, with less chemicals in the diet.  
• As much as possible, buy organic, hormone-free milk and meat, and limit animal fats.   
• Keep the child away from external sources of estrogen (and testosterone), such as prescription medications for adults or dietary supplements that contain hormones.
• Use a stainless-steel water bottle, rather than a plastic one.  (The concern here is that chemicals leach out of plastic when it is heated, which is often very likely to have occurred in storage or in transit to a store.)
• For this same reason, only ever use glass containers in the microwave - never plastic, even if the container was made for microwave use.  Use a plate to cover the container, rather than plastic wrap.
• Use clothing rather than sunscreen, as much as possible, to protect children in the sun, thereby minimizing the use of chemicals on the skin.

If you would like to learn more, you could start with links here and here.  If I was a mother of young girls now, I'd be pretty interested in this!

Lost Treasure Found at March House Books

There are some memories of childhood that have a savour so sweet as to hold almost an ache of longing.

I don't recall much about the time before I was five and my parents separated.  When that happened, we moved away from where I was born in central Australia, and my mother and sisters and I made a new start a long distance away in Adelaide.  I'm sure I was confused, (and I'm sure it was hard for our mother).

I began school that year, and as soon as I learned to read I escaped into books, not raising my head to rejoin the world until the end of grade seven.  Somewhat the archetypal bookworm, I read as I walked to school, read a book under my school desk through as much of the day as I could, sat by myself with a book through every recess and lunchtime, and read through every spare minute at home.  I even read when I was in the shower and as I rode my bike.  I loved books like friends, and the people in them populated my world.

But the first book I ever loved was from that earlier time before my parents divorced, and it's that book or group of books that is to be the source of one of my happiest early childhood memories.  I suppose my mother or father must have read it to me when I was little.  Or perhaps I sat for hours by myself, turning the pages and absorbing the pictures.

Down through the years I have remembered these as 'the Belinda books'.  All I could remember was that a young girl called Belinda lived in a magical kind of forest, and that she was able to talk to her forest friends, the animals, there.

Every now and again I asked about these books at second-hand book shops, but without success.

Until back in April I visited Barbara's wonderful Blog on this page at March House Books and thought to ask her if she might know what it was that I was remembering.  You can hardly imagine my delight when she directed me to this page on her Blog, and I was able to rediscover these lost friends from my childhood.

I now own seven of this series.  I'm very happy :)

I am also very grateful to Barbara, who is so very knowledgeable about children's books, and who was so very kind and helpful!  She knew that Belinda was actually a character in the Pookie books.  I recommend Barbara's online book store to you very highly!

Isn't the internet wonderful, and aren't the people you meet there lovely?! :)

Advice For a New Mother - Part 1

It can sometimes be hard being a new mother.  Sometimes harder than you thought it would be.  Here is my basic, simple and practical advice for new mums, part 1.

Advice before the birth..

It's good to have a bit of an idea of how you would like things to go during labour - an idea about what is involved, what will be happening, what pain relief or other options are available, etc.  Just please don't be too rigid about it!  The hardest part of the birth for some girls is having things work out differently to what they had planned.   Perhaps you want to go drugs-free - and that's great - as long as you have that as a loose plan and can feel comfortable about changing directions during labour if you change your mind.  Strangely enough, no-one gives out medals saying, 'Yah-Hoo!  You did it all without drugs!!'  You do get a wonderful, swirming and tiny prize however - either way :)

Just go in there and do your best, and let 'come what may, and love it!' :)


Advice for after the birth

You might absolutely adore your baby from the first moment that your eyes meet.  (Yes, they will look at and see you from the first moments.)  All the gushy, overwhelmingly tender and fiercely protective love that you never thought anyone could feel this strongly might rush over you in that moment, irrevocably changing your understanding of your place in life forevermore..

..Or you might feel nothing.  Or nothing much.  Or perhaps a bit of awe, or fear, or even resentment - this was the reason for that, afterall!

Be patient with yourself.  There is nobody standing by, grading you on some cosmic mother-appropriateness meter. It's really ok to be yourself and to be honest with yourself and others about how you feel.  Give yourself some time to grow into things.  Ask for help.  Talk to somebody who will be understanding.

There is one thing that is more important than anything though - even more important than your feelings and challenges at this stage, and that is the safety and health of your new baby.  For good or ill, you are the one person on earth more than any other who has the responsibility of ensuring the safety and well-being of that tiny person.  There will be people around to help you if you need it (and very often even if you don't :) - but yours is the prime responsibility, unless you officially pass it on to someone else.


Doing whatever it takes to get through the day

I had a good friend, a lovely girl, who was home alone with her new baby one night, pacing the floor with a baby who would not stop crying.  She did all she could, until finally, she said, she had, "an overwhelming impulse to throw (her baby) against the wall."   She put the screaming newborn carefully into her cot, then left the house and walked around the block a couple of times until she had calmed down enough to go home.

Leaving your new baby in a house alone is not normally the right thing to do, but in this case it was a matter of doing what she had to, to get through the day - something of a mantra that I think should always be kept in mind by new mothers.  I believe that the daily objective of every new mother should be to keep their baby safe and healthy and themselves sane, and to do whatever it takes day by day to achieve that! :)  If you can get to the end of the first few months with your baby safe and well and yourself sane - well done!!  You made it and you are doing great!  Really :)

Perhaps this will mean having lots of take-aways, (or easy, throw-together meals like, say: a tin of tuna, a banana, some frozen green peas straight out of the packet, a tomato and a drink of milk - Ta-da!   Nutritious and it just took you one minute and 18 seconds to prepare :), or letting the dust in the house accumulate and the ironing mount up..   This time of night feeds and unsettled tummies won't last forever, and you will eventually get back on top of things when a routine finally kicks in.  It will happen.  Until then, don't fight it my friend.  Remember the mantra, and the daily objective :)


Ask for help, and say 'yes, thank you!' when people offer

You're capable, smart and independent.  When people offer to help in any way after you have had a baby you ought to say, 'yes, thank you!' - because that is what capable, smart and independent people do! :)

Maybe you won't have anyone offering.  It's nice if you do, but you'll still make it if you don't.  While it would be nice to have someone dropping by a home-cooked meal some days, you'll be ok without it too.  But if you do need help in achieving the Daily Objective, (of safety and sanity), then you need to ask somebody for help.  It might be a friend, family member, kind neighbour, or a helpline.  I think all Australian hospitals have someone 24/7 that you can talk to for advice whenever you need to.  You're not alone, remember that.  There are people who care about you and your baby and who will gladly help :)


Advice and criticism

You're almost bound to get a lot of advice as you embark on this challenging adventure.  (Here I am, giving my share, and I've got still more to come too :)  It's pretty much all well-intentioned, even though some of it may even sound like criticism on occasion, (perhaps when you are tired and frazzled :)

This advice will range, (and I do mean range!), from whether or not to breast-feed your baby, when to toilet-train, whether or not to enforce a schedule, whether or not you should leave your baby to cry, whether you should swaddle, when you should start feeding solids...  ...   !

My advice is to listen humbly to it all - but most of all to your own mother's advice, if you can.  She will probably love you asking her for advice, and you will probably find her an amazingly helpful resource.

Then, you should do whatever your own mother's heart tells you to do.  That's my advice.  I believe that mothers are often blessed to know what is right for their child.  So: learn from others, but most of all - trust yourself!  You're a mother.  What feels right to you?

(If you are not feeling anything, then go to the advice of the person you trust the most :)

Photos by Ann Geddes

I Told You I Was Sick :)

I'm going into hospital tomorrow morning for an operation.  Nothing too serious or worryingly out of the ordinary, but I am feeling a tad apprehensive.  Having been a nurse, (in a time long, long ago), I am aware that while most surgeries go to plan there is that very small number that don't.

Not to be morbid or anything, but I really don't like the thought of being caught out, so just in case anything does go wrong, I have given our eldest daughter the five minute version of what to do in the extraordinary event that I die, which is mostly, "Take care of Dad," and, "Could I please have lots of nice music at the funeral, just in case I am there? Could Abby play the viola please?"   If I am in a coma, then, "Please play French tapes or something, just in case I am still in there but can't communicate, so I don't get too bored!  And perhaps play Mozart?"

All sensible precautions I think :)  But it has got me thinking about how it would be if I were to suddenly die.  What would I regret not having finished yet?

For me, there is a book that I would like to write for my family.  I've been thinking about it for years, but there is always something else to take my time that seems more immediate.

This slight touch of potentially-imminent-deathness that I appear to have contracted makes me realise that I ought to get on to doing what is really most important to me now, rather than just plan to begin sometime.  I want to write that book while I still can.

Do you have anything like that - something that you would like to accomplish before you shuffle 'off this mortal coil'?

Some Totally Random Things That Every Girl Should Know :)

There are probably thousands of interesting snippets that could be written under that title!  Here are just six things, some of which my mother taught me, and that I have passed down to our girls..

How to walk in heels

You've probably seen how awful it can look when it's not done well - knees and body all bent, head bobbing up and down like a camel?  Here is what my mother taught me about how to walk fabulously in high heels, that I have always found very helpful:

Two things: First - you need to keep your knees fairly straight!  Not both knees ramrod straight all the time, but as straight as you feasibly can.  If you were to go and throw on some heels right now so you can try this, you are going to find that this is more or less impossible to do - unless you put a wiggle in your walk!  No, not a wiggle like that, but a beautiful, womanly, gentle figure of eight, side to side sway - you have to comfortably move your hips from side to side as you walk.  That's number two.   You'll find that you can glide along beautifully when you keep your knees straight and gently sway your hips - instead of badly bobbing..  There should be no bobbing up and down!  Ideally, one seeks to glide! :)  Keep your upper body straight too, head up and shoulders back.

One other tip here, also from my mother: You should always walk as if you are the most beautiful girl or woman in the world!  'You believe it, and then other people will probably believe it too!' she used to tell me.  (You might find it helpful to sing 'The Girl From Ipanema'http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHkv9BFBiyY to yourself too :)

Fight back if you are attacked!

Imagine that you have just started to drive when someone who was hidden in the back seat of your car suddenly holds a weapon on you and demands that you drive where-ever he tells you to go.  What do you do?

(Well, first - always check the car and back seat before you get into the car!  But, moving on..)   You drive straight into a tree, or a shop, or a house, or whatever!  Do it somewhere there are lots of people who will come running to see what has happened.  In that situation, you have the driving wheel which means you have the power -so use it to your advantage, not his.

Even without the advantage of that situation, you should use whatever you have available to fight back for all you're worth. This makes it much more likely that your attacker will decide that he got more than he bargained for!

The most important thing to remember when anyone is attacking you is:  they are always going to tell you to do something that will benefit them, not you - so don't do it!   Fight back!  Numerous studies have shown that your chances are much better is you fight back.




Protect yourself from the sun

http: media-cache.com

I was the girl slathered in coconut oil, laying out for as long as I could.  And I have the sun and age-spots to prove it!  I know you don't think you need to worry about the future too much right now.  But one day you will wish you had, you really will.  Sunscreen, hat, long sleeves, and staying out of the sun will ensure a much nicer skin as you get older.




Don't over-pluck your eyebrows!

Eyebrow hairs do grow back when you pluck them - until they don't.  So be very careful about ever plucking more than just the stray hairs, or you may find yourself in a needier relationship with an eyebrow pencil than you planned!  Many girls thirty years ago over-plucked their eyebrows, as was the fashion at the time - but they are the older woman you see about now with pencilled in brows.

Eyebrows can change the whole look of your face so much, so it's important to be careful about how you groom them. This is a good page to refer to if you would like to know more.  The photograph of Jennifer Connelly, below, is a good example of how well-groomed bushier brows enhance her beauty.
                              

How to reduce static cling

courtney-watkins.com

This is a simple little tip, and I know that girls don't wear dresses as much as they used to, but for those times when your dress is getting too clingy for comfort, there are a couple of solutions.  You can tip a small amount of fabric softener into your hands, then run it over your legs, or use body moisturizer in the same way.  Quickly slathering on a bit a moisturizer is generally the easiest way to go.  Works like a dream!

(To reduce static cling in your laundry loads you can try one or each of these three ideas, which apparently all work very well:  use 1/4 cup of white vinegar in your final rinse (there's no smell apparently);  use a couple of wadded-up balls of aluminum foil in the dryer (works, but not perfectly); use a couple of safety pins in the wash, attached to an odd sock. This is supposed to attract the static and I've read that it works brilliantly :)

http://www.ingodseconomy.com/say-goodbye-to-static-cling/

Avoid germs when out and about


BC (before children), I was a nurse, so I think I imbibed some careful ideas about how to avoid germs when possible from that now long-ago training.  I don't think that all germs are bad, or that you need to be obsessive, but it seems to me that a common-sense approach is useful.

Mostly, avoid touching public rest room and toilet doors, and staircase rails, etc, with your palms.  When entering through public doors, it's good to be in the habit of pushing the door open with the back of your hand.  If you want to hold the rail of a stair or escalator, turn your hand over so that only the back of your hand touches the rail, or preferably your sleeve. The reason for this is that you are more likely to touch your face and transfer germs from your palms and fingers than from the back of your hand.  It's a little thing, but probably helps you to avoid getting sick sometimes.  It's a good idea to wash your hands when you get home from being out in public too, more if there seems to be a lot of sickness around.

www.fabafterfifty.co.uk

Do you have anything that you are happy to share, in the way of tips we would all like to know? :)

What makes you happy?

I was sitting in church with our grand-daughter Jacey yesterday.  She was on my lap, facing away from me, when she twisted her head back to look meaningfully into my eyes from only a few inches away.  She cupped her little hand around my cheek and, eyes looking straight into mine, said, "I love you". 

This would have been heart-melting at any stage, but Jacey is not even 18 months old yet, and while she has a few words, like 'bye bye', she'd never said anything like this before.

'Thank you, Jacey!'  I hugged her, 'I love you too!'



Happiness is..   well for me it was this.  And it's knowing our children enjoy being together, and it's having my husband plant a kiss on my shoulder when he gets into bed at night and thinks I am already asleep.  It's having beautiful fresh flowers in the house, and curling up under doona covers with a good book on a rainy day, and getting caught unexpectedly in a rain shower, laughing while I run for cover.  Or, even better, giving in to getting drenched and walking through heavy rain...

It's watching an awesome summer thunder storm bend the trees and pummel the earth from the safety of our home, especially when the children used to crowd around me in excitement. It's hearing the call of a kookaburra, and it's the quality of late afternoon, slanting sunlight in the tops of the gum trees, or slipping into the freshness of clean sheets at the end of the day.  It's being fascinated with the new beauty of ever-changing cloud formations, and the way fairy floss disappears on your tongue..

www.flickr.com 

It's words like, 'giggle' and 'chuckle'.  It's waking up after a beautiful dream, even when you can't quite remember it.  It's sunlight glinting off water, and the gurgling sounds of a small stream gushing over rocks, and the turquoise colour of the ocean.  It's watching and hearing the crash of waves at the beach.  It's artful fashion and design.  It's a windy day, tearing at my hair.  It's the smile of someone passing on the street. It's the chiming sounds of an old clock.  It's seeing kindness in action, and it's a long drink of cold water on a thirsty day.  It's all this and a million other things.

For some people it's animals, for some it is technology, or food, or smells, or popping bubble wrap.

What makes you happy?

Love and Laughter at Any Age

On Saturday Tammy and I gave a ride home to an elderly couple who had attended a Red Cross meeting where we were.

To get to the meeting this couple had walked, caught a bus, then walked some steep hills for another 30 minutes.

I actually wondered at them even being at the meeting - first, because of their age (I felt curious about what service they could give to the Red Cross?), and secondly, I wondered at them making such a big effort to be there.  It was a de-brief meeting, where we heard about the experiences of five volunteers who were deployed during the recent Bundaberg floods.   Interesting, but I don't know if I would have gone to the efforts they had to be there..

We got to know them a little on the drive to take them home.  Tom was 83 years old and she was his wife of three years.  She had been married before and had five children (one of whom had died).  She also had grand-children.  He had never married before; he had always cared for his parents.

At the age of 70 he was an alcoholic.  Then he met a lovely couple who gave him a place to live in their home when he had nowhere else to go.  They took him to church with them and two weeks later he was baptised - and stopped drinking.

"I'd be dead now, if not for that," he said, but in his broad Scottish accent, that I could barely understand -although Tammy has a knack for that, thank goodness, and was quietly translating some of what he said for me.

"I couldn't understand most of what he said either!" his bride laughed, and her laugh was a happy trill that was glorious to hear.  Not one person in a five thousand has a laugh like that!  She was short and perhaps a little dumpy, and she wore a bright wedgewood-blue skirt and top, with a matching wide-brimmed that she kept on her head the whole time.  Her laugh had youth and fun and sunshine in it.  If that laugh could be bottled we would all be wanting some for Christmas!  And perhaps because she was so good at laughing, she laughed often.  (Or perhaps it works the other way around?)

He met her at church activities.  He rang and asked her to marry him when she needed to move interstate.  "I was more surprised than anyone,' she laughed.  "Now I think of it, he did always carry my bag for me!  He didn't want me to go away without him."

www.dailyrecord.co.uk 

"He needed you," I said, and she answered, "Yes, and I need him too!"

We let them off at their rented home, him so tall and lanky and with a satisfied twinkle in his eye, and her with her youthful, abundant smiles.

Then Tammy and I smiled all the way down their street, and on our way.

"How wonderful that they have each other!" we both said.  And it really was.

DIY Family Genealogy and History Calendar

We like to give home-made presents in our family each year for Christmas, so have collected quite a few ideas for DIY gifts over past years.  One idea that pops up regularly in different forms, is a family calendar.  I'll do another post sometime, showing some of our other family calendar versions, but this particular one has a  Family History theme.  

Although a calendar about your genealogy can take a while to put together, once it's completed it can be printed off for as many people as you think would like to receive it.  I also think it's a wonderful family resource and keepsake, and the information quite fascinating when it's your family being written about.   

I'm posting about this now, rather than closer to Christmas because you may want to get a head start on collecting and inputting the information you will need, if this idea appeals to you.

This is the front cover of the calendar.  I constructed each of the calendar pages on the computer using Publisher, then printed them out double-sided (a family history page on the top and a calendar month page below), on A4 paper, using our home printer.  I've used protective clear plastic covers on the front and back, then bound all the pages into booklet form using our home binder.  (You could get all of that done at Office-works if you prefer.)  Although it isn't shown on these pages, we finished off each calendar by punching a hole through the top centre of each page to allow it to hang from a hook.

You'll find a selection of free, downloadable calendar templates on the net that you can adjust for your calendar months.  Or compose your own calendar grid using Publisher or another program.  Although I haven't shown any of them, each facing page of these pictured pages was a grid of that calendar month, with birthdays, anniversaries, public holidays, etc, added in.

The facing page for January was this seven-generation chart above: Neil and me, our children and grandchildren, our parents, grand-parents, great-grand-parents and our great-great-grand-parents.  (Sorry about the terrible quality, but I've removed the information about living persons and fuzzied up the page for privacy.)  Where we had photos of our ancestors I have included them, along with the place and date of birth for each.  Perhaps you won't have as much information about your family history as this, but could put in whatever you do have.  It's a wonderful resource to have all this important information compiled on one page.   Although you can't see it here, I also gave each ancestor on the chart their own number (eg our children were all number 1, Neil was number 2, I was number 3, his father was number 4, etc.), which helped to match the people on the chart with the people being written about in the calendar. 

(You can click on each individual page to see it more clearly.)

I played around a bit before I finally determined upon a format for the family history pages.  There were 13 pages to do altogether, because I had calendar pages for January to December, plus January for the following year.  The seven-generation chart occupied one of those pages, leaving me with twelve facing pages still to fill.

Should I just highlight 12 individuals?  Give half a page each to a chosen individual?  You can see from the generation chart that between us, my husband and I have (like everyone has :), 4 parents, 8 grand-parents, 16 g-grand-parents, and 32 g-g-grand-parents: 50 individuals altogether, not counting Neil and me.  Of course, we had a lot more information on some of these ancestors than we did on others.  I could have written a small book on some individuals, but had barely a few lines of data about others.

As I read through the histories of the ancestors I did have some information for, it seemed to me that I was able to pick out distinguishing characteristics for many of the individuals.  Eventually I decided that nine of the pages would highlight the characteristics of some of our ancestor couples: each set of our parents; all four sets of our grand-parents; and three sets of g-grand-parents.  The remaining three pages were devoted to getting in as much information about our other ancestors as possible under the three headings: 'First Fleet and Early Pioneers to Australia'; 'House of Bedwell - Adventurers and Explorers'; and 'Academics, Artists, Writers and Musicians'. 

As a finishing touch I included a list of all the contact details - phone, email and addresses - for all of our (living) family on the inside back cover. Below is a copy of the calendar's back cover. 

It was a lot of work putting this together, but also incredibly interesting and satisfying!  Everyone loved their present, and hopefully we all knew more about our family history by the end of the year :)

How to search out your family history - 

If you would like to search out your family history, you can start as easily as by Googling an ancestor, including all of the information you already have for them. Your search will most likely take you to one of the genealogy sites such as ancestry.com, where you can search further.  FamilySearch is another site that will help you get started.

You will need to verify that you have discovered someone who is actually in your line, by matching as many details as possible - such as the names of spouse and children, before you know for sure it is them.  As you follow the threads you will start to become conversant with various census findings, military records, etc. - and to be honest, you'll probably find yourself getting completely hooked!  

One of the most wonderful things about studying out your ancestors is to find that others in your line have very likely already begun, and you can often find the information they have compiled available on the net.  This means that you will sometimes find many generations of information all from one name.   It's like the best game of treasure hunting you can imagine!  You can't know how exciting it is to track down your ancestors until you have done it!

I know this post began as a home-made Christmas present idea - and seems to have morphed into a post about genealogy instead!  But enthusiasm for genealogy is a side effect of doing your family history that you should expect to encounter too!

So, where do you come from? :)

   

'The Magic Strawberry Patch'

'What goes around comes around.'

That's a saying my husband frequently employs.  Some call it Karma.  I call it the consequences and blessings of laws that I believe are eternal.  'Just deserts', you might say.

I remember reading a story about an elderly lady who cared for her farm's large strawberry patch.  Her strawberries had well-earned their reputation for being the biggest, juiciest, most luscious and delicious strawberries anywhere around.  The farm where this lady and her husband lived was not overly prosperous and the couple were not wealthy, so the money they made from the sale of the woman's strawberries was very helpful to their budget.

Except that the woman gave so many of her strawberries away!  She gave them to new mothers, grieving families, homes where there was illness, homes that needed cheering up, hungry passers-by who came looking for a handout, and to neighourhood boys who might have felt the need to sneak into the patch if they hadn't been freely invited.

creativedaily.blogspot.com

The story was written by the woman's grand-daughter - who felt enormously exasperated by her sweet grandmother's naive generosity and complete lack of business acumen.

"It's all part of the magic," her grandmother would smilingly explain.

Eventually, the farm was sold, that old couple moved away, and the farm and strawberry patch came under new management.  There were plans to finally turn the delectable rows of strawberries into a profitable concern.

When the grand-daughter's family felt a hankering for the familiar taste of those wonderful strawberries the following year, they returned to the farm to purchase some from the new owner - only to find that the strawberries were 'puny' and nothing like they had been.  "I plain don't understand it," the frustrated farmer exclaimed.  He had done everything the same, but was getting only half the yield and nothing like the quality there had previously been.  The strawberries were so disappointing that the patch was eventually plowed under the following year, and the land given over to another crop.

Do you believe in that kind of magic?  I do.  I don't know if this was true, or just a story, but I believe that the principle it highlights is true, even if we can't always see it straight away.

I gratefully acknowledge the amazing generosity of the multitudes of talent-packed Bloggers out there who have shared with me their recipes for rhubarb pie, ideas for how to design our new house, and everything in between.  It's been a great help to me on many occasions.  We're sometimes called a cold, hard and heartless world, but that is actually getting harder to believe - because the world has so many people in it who are nothing like that description!

What goes around comes around.  And thank you  :)

'I Enjoy Making Things Beautiful' or 'The Earth Without Art Is Just Eh'

'I enjoy making things beautiful'  ..  A friend wrote that in an email to me recently.  Isn't that true for many of us, perhaps especially women?  I hope that the pictures in today's post will make you smile. They make me smile.  And appreciate the work of, in this case, a few amazing street artists.  Even when I may not love every piece of art, (and some argue that what they do is actually vandalism), I find it inspiring that these artists so freely and generously share their creative talents with all of us.

A little old lady I once knew told me that she tried to always leave a place better than she found it.  She told me that when I found her wiping down the sink in a public bathroom with the towelette she had used to dry her hands.   She said her mother had taught her to do that.  I think it's a lesson worth remembering.

Yarn-bombing - B-Arbeiten

Yarn-bombing seeks to personalize public places  - click here to see more amazing examples

By David Zinn

Lego street art

Literally street art - by Juliana Santacruz Herrera, who packs street potholes in Paris with long lengths of brightly dyed and plaited fabric strips.

 By Jonna Pohjalainen

(Ok, this sculpture by Mehmet Ali Uysal isn't exactly street art - but it's cool, isn't it? :)

By Nuxuno Xän. In Fort De France, Martinique.

Dihzahyners - The making Beirut beautiful project



This team of passionate street artists are creating initiatives to make the previously war-torn city of Beirut brighter and more beautiful through colour.



BEFORE AND AFTER

Photo by Karolina Lidia Pawelec

By Ernest Zacharevic

Have a nice day!  :)