Monday, February 18, 2013

The Bystander Effect


I recall being at a young man's funeral where the man's sister broke down, falling to the carpet and keening as her brother's coffin was taken to the car.  I knew the young woman quite well and wanted to go to her and do what I could to give her some comfort - anything rather than leave her to suffer so awfully alone on the floor while the many attendants at the funeral filed past and around her.  But I also didn't want to push in where I wasn't needed or wanted.  I looked around for the girl's family - her parents and siblings and aunts.  Because none of them went to her, I felt that I couldn't go to her either; I didn't want to usurp their role.  So I watched her, hesitating, until finally, after some minutes, someone from the family came to raise her up and care for her.

I am filled with regret that I didn't do more.






Flocks of psychologists from all over the country descended upon NYC back in 1964, after it was reported that a young woman named Kitty Genovese was killed outside her apartment, in three separate attacks by the same man, over a half hour period - in view of 38 witnesses, not one of whom went to her aid or even telephoned the police.   While many of these details were later disputed, the question remains: why did nobody help her?  Was it apathy?  Callousness?

Major studies prompted by the events around the attack arrived at a counter-intuitive conclusion: the greater the number of bystanders who view an emergency, the less chance there is that any will intervene - something that is now known as the 'bystander effect'. Studies have repeatedly illustrated that we tend to feel a 'diffusion of responsibility' when part of a group.  The larger the group, the less likelihood that anyone will want to be the first to step forward.  In other words, Kitty had a much better chance of being helped if only one witness had seen or heard the attack, rather than the reputed 38.

Why bring this up?  It's not a very cheerful topic for a Monday morning perhaps, but it is a meaningful one and brings me to this conclusion: awareness of this phenomenon and some of what prompts it can, I hope, help to immure me to some extent from its effects.  I don't want to have any more regrets that I didn't help out when help was needed.  No matter what anyone else does.  What do you think?







9 comments:

  1. An important thought mum! Thanks for this ;)

    xo Tammy

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  2. Wow. I love this. I really never ever want to be part of a big group witnessing something and not do anything. I've heard of simar stories where people are having serious health issues in public and nobody stops. When you hear about these things you wonder how that could possibly happen but I guess it an be easy to fall into that trap.
    I think you're right and that being aware of the 'bystander effect' can hopefully help us recognize it and rebel against it! :)

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    1. You are one of my favourite rebels Bethy :)
      xoxo

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  3. Well said Sandra! Its easy to sit in the safety and comfort of one's home and provide support through social media. But to actually walk the walk? Well, I have my regrets too over being a bystander. I hope in the future at-least, I don't wimp out of situations that warrant my action.

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  4. I remember hearing people picking on a boy in primary school and not doing anything about it, and I don't think I'll ever forget it - I feel awful - if you hesitate too long it's over. This is a great reminder to just help out even if it seems 'awkward' - better to be helping and in an awkward situation than miss the moment and regret the help you could have been in years to come! Missed helping a woman at the shops the other week too because I was worried about making her uncomfortable and I wish I could go back and do it again and give her a hand!! I can't imagine not helping a woman getting beaten up though - that's insane!! Loved this post xo

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    1. Makes you wonder if the boy in primary school still remembers it too, doesn't it? You hope not. I think my biggest regrets in life are not doing good when I might have and should have..
      xoxo

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    2. He wasn't close enough to hear, so I think I'm probably the only one kicking myself - unless one of the bullies regrets it - !

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